Stop Worrying So Much About Other People Liking You.
Chris Williamson | @chriswillx

Here's some short reflections on dealing with self-consciousness...

"Stop worrying so much about other people liking you. Most people don't even like themselves." — Carnivore Aurelius

This is something I've realised as I've tried to deprogram my own self-consciousness over the last few years. I always thought that other humans had some brilliantly balanced existence and that any negative opinion of me was created through an accurate and fair assessment of the fact that they were normal and I was, in relation, deficient in some way.

We only see a tiny sliver of other people's motivations and thought processes in the actions they take, while we observe our own vacillations, uncertainty, foibles and self-doubt from a front row seat 10,000 times a second as our brain whirrs back and forth. This makes everyone else look like slick, rational agents while we are wavering idiots.

Most people, most of the time, don't have any idea what they're doing. Adulthood is like being pushed down some stairs at 18 and continually trying to catch your feet until you die.

"We would care far less about what other people thought of us if we realised how rarely they did."

Not only do most people not have any idea what they're doing, they're so wrapped up in their own existence that they have no time to consider ours. When was the last time you saw someone trip over or say something polite but clumsy at a party?

I can't remember at all.

This is one of the most liberating things to realise about social life. Almost no one cares about you. Almost no one will remember you after you leave the room. So there is no point in being self-conscious.

"Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer." — Rick Sanchez

Most people live default, unassessed lives, completely at the mercy of their programming and following whatever desires society told them to like. If you could see the inner texture of the people who don't like your existence, I think you'd probably feel more pity than anger.

Basically, most critics are miserable idiots. You're doing fine.

Source: Chris Williamson